Friday, 3 October 2008

Last Concern


"... It was drizzling enough to make the roads slippery. At sunset, just before darkness completely sets it, a Volvo was speeding to reach its destination. For some unknown reason the speed manifested urgency. And on a risky turn, the bus skid from the track. The layer of mushy land accumulated against the tyres stopped it from toppling. For a second nothing was in place!"

I was one of the passengers. At the time we went off the road, I wasn't sure what was coming! At that time the only thing on my mind was, if I die, let it be a peaceful death! It is difficult to accept that I didn't think of anyone else. All the relationships, commitments, responsibilities seemed to be so trivial to even come to my mind!

I am still not sure if its nature or instinct to be concerned about only oneself at the end or is it pure defence mechanism?

6 comments:

Dagny said...

Yea, I know what you mean. I pray for a sudden (in spite of being painful) death to a terminal illness
:)
Glad to know you're alright!

Anonymous said...

Snigdha,

It's such a revealing post.


How could you not think of

I didn't think of anyone else. All the relationships, commitments, responsibilities seemed to be so trivial to even come to my mind!

Well, well well.... that's no revealation ....

The real Revelation is that how judging we are, we even judge what we were thinking when we were so close to death.... can we torture ourselves more?

Someone who is dying or knows that he is about to die, can he ever think anything else except of a peaceful death?

Anonymous said...

forgot to sign my last comment... so here it goes

- infinite

Snigdha Shevade said...

@ dagny: heh!! trust me you are talking to me and not my ghost!! :-D

@ infinite: didn't quite get you!! :-O are you agreeing to my statements or contradicting them?

Anonymous said...

am just continuing the inquiry you have begun :)

That's one, i find your thinking process; painful.


when you say :

It is difficult to accept that I didn't think of anyone else.

it feels like you are adding pain to what was already not too comfortable an experience... and you are doing by judging your own reactions ...

am neither agreeing nor disagreeing with you, am just a little concerned about the thought process thats a too.... self critical

Chill... there's nothing else one can think of, when one is so close to death


-infinite

Snigdha Shevade said...

Heh!! Self critical is making it sound as a profound thing!!! :-O

मेरे अपने

आज आसमान मुझे देख रहा है,  सितारें कुछ ज्यादा चमक रहे हैं,  मेरे अपने जो उनमें बसे  हैं! शायद वहां रहकर खुश है! पीछे रहना बड़...