The best gift you can give your child is a healed version of you

 

There’s a certain stillness before life changes forever. When you’re planning to become a parent, or waiting to hold your baby for the first time everything feels hopeful, dreamy, and a little uncertain. You’re setting up a home, choosing names, reading about sleep schedules and baby care. But rarely do we pause to prepare ourselves.

Parenthood doesn’t begin with a crib. It begins with self-awareness.

We often believe love will guide us through everything. And it does, but love when mixed with unhealed wounds, can turn into fear, control, or guilt. A child doesn’t just inherit your eyes or smile, they inherit the way you handle sadness, the tone of your anger, and the quiet of your silence.

Every child becomes a mirror to what’s unresolved within us. They don’t mean to trigger us, they simply show us what still needs healing.

That’s why this book isn’t about how to raise a child. It’s about how to meet yourself before you hold another soul. It’s for those who want to step into parenthood with awareness, not assumption. Because parenting isn’t just about shaping a life, it’s about transforming your own along with your child(ren).

And when you start that journey early, before the noise and chaos take over, you gift your child something priceless, a home where peace isn’t performed, it’s felt.

p.s. One of the ways to discover that gift is right here - Safety Nesters to Empty Nesters

Teaser

 Get your copy - Safety Nesters to Empty Nesters 

It’s Never Too Late

There is a quiet myth many parents carry that growth has a deadline. That repair must happen early, or not at all. That once a child reaches a certain age, the window closes.

It doesn’t.

Parenting is not confined to childhood years or legal milestones. It is a living relationship, one that continues to evolve as long as there is willingness, awareness, and love.

Whether your child is five, fifteen, or thirty five, they are still watching you. Not with the wide-eyed dependence of early years, but with a deeper curiosity of how you handle discomfort, how you take responsibility, how you respond when something old surfaces and asks to be healed.

Every time you pause instead of reacting, something shifts. Every time you choose honesty over authority, safety deepens. Every time you say, “I’m learning too,” a new pattern is born. Healing does not require perfect timing. It requires presence.

This book was written for parents who feel they may have arrived late to awareness. For those who believe they should have known better earlier. For those carrying regret, guilt, or the quiet ache of “if only.”

Change does not lose its power with time. In fact, it often gains depth. When a parent grows later in life, the impact can be profound, because it shows that evolution is possible at any age. Because it teaches children, grown or growing, that repair is not a one-time event, but a lifelong skill.

Parenting is not about raising a child perfectly. It is about remaining in a relationship with yourself, and with them. And if you are wondering whether it still matters, whether your effort will still be felt, whether awareness now can undo years of silence or misunderstanding, this book is here to remind you exactly that.

It is never too late.

p.s. Gift yourself or someone you love today- Safety Nesters to Empty Nesters

It's not that complicated!

If you doubt when all seems great,  

Know what you see, can be manipulated!

Truth is always stranger than fiction, 

Because your gut can sense what is hidden!

Looks can be deceptive, 

Words can be fake!

It is hard to simplify matters, 

Because everyone loves to complicate!

All the stories you've heard,

Everything you were told to be true, 

Can fall apart with one simple question -

Is there more to what meets the eye, even a tiny clue?

 

It takes courage to question what you hear,

It takes strength to revisit what you see!

It is tiring to stand up against the wrong,

But standing up for what is right, will set you free!

So do not ignore your gut feelings

Never doubt your gut's doubts, 

It is your guiding star

When everything is confusing and dark! 

10 Years In: What Parenting Taught Me About Life, Healing, and Becoming

When I wrote about saying goodbye to my twenties at thirty-one, I realised something unsettling that I had never truly captured the first two decades of my life.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t writing. I’ve been writing since childhood, and I even started this blog at twenty-two. But somehow, the years that shaped me the most remained undocumented. Maybe I wasn’t ready. Maybe I didn’t yet have the lens to see those experiences clearly. Or maybe, like many of us, I was too busy living them to pause and reflect.

Either way, that window passed. But life, in its quiet generosity, offers second chances in unexpected ways.

Parenthood, I’ve come to realise, is one such chance. It is not just about raising a child, it is also about meeting yourself again. If you’re willing to see it, you don’t just witness your child growing up; you witness your own childhood unfolding in front of you. You get to revisit, re-feel, and sometimes even rewrite what once was.

So instead of mourning what I hadn’t written, I chose the next best opportunity, to reflect on my first decade as a parent. As I step into my eleventh year of motherhood, here are the ten truths that have quietly, persistently shaped me:

1. Life is made of fleeting moments: The days feel long, but the years collapse into each other. The phases you think will last forever disappear overnight. Presence is not a luxury, it is indeed everything.

2. Comparison is a psychological trap: Whether it’s milestones, parenting styles, or life choices; comparison corrodes joy. It distorts reality and disconnects you from your own path.

3. A support system is not optional: No one is meant to do this alone. Parenting without support isn’t strength, it’s depletion. Community, in whatever form you can build it, is essential.

4. Growth cannot be instructed, only modelled: Children don’t become what you tell them. They become what they see. Who you are speaks louder than anything you say.

5. Life evolves, it doesn’t end: Versions of you will dissolve, but they make space for new ones. Motherhood didn’t erase me; it expanded me in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

6. Your voice becomes their inner voice: The way you speak to them and around them, echoes inside them long after the moment has passed. Your tone today becomes their self-talk tomorrow.

7. Healing is not optional, it is foundational: Unresolved wounds don’t disappear; they resurface in your parenting. Doing your inner work is one of the most profound gifts you can give your child.

8. Boundaries create safety, not distance: Structure is not harshness. Boundaries are not rejection. They are the framework within which trust and security are built.

9. The pace is relentless: There is no pause button. Parenting demands energy, attention, and presence, often all at once. Learning to regulate yourself within this pace is survival.

10. Your children are your greatest teachers: You may guide them, but they will transform you. They hold up mirrors you didn’t know you needed and ask questions you didn’t know you had.

As I step into this next year, I’m less interested in doing parenting “right” and more committed to doing it consciously. Because in the end, parenting isn’t just about raising a child. It’s about raising yourself, all over again. 

If I am a memory

 

Our meeting was a stroke of serendipity,

There was no history neither familiarity.

Yet we bonded like a house on fire!

So if I am a memory, remember me for the fire! 

Days became months and months became years together,

Even the distances in miles kept increasing forever. 

A lot changed in this time but never our connection!

So if I am a memory, remember me for the connection!

Shared moments in life make fond memories,

But life in itself is full of bitter sweet symphonies.

We have our share of hurt but we sure have more happy quirks!

So if I am a memory, remember me for the happy quirks!

I see you, I hear you and I understand you,

Not for an imaginary version of you, but you being you.

Not because I need you or I want you, but because I choose you! 

So if I am a memory, remember me for choosing you! 

Don't let your children drench in your storm!

 

As parents, we are supposed to share our calm with our children when they are in an overwhelming chaos, not add to their chaos! Very often children are punished for simply being little versions of human beings. How quickly a child gets dismissed for having a meltdown and criticised for expressing what they feel, breaks my heart every single time I see a child go through it. "Shut up! Keep your voice down! That's nothing! Why are you behaving like a baby? You are creating a scene!"... It might sound outrageous when you read these sentences in a post, but you will be shocked how often children are shut down with such phrases, some are downright bad things to say even to an adult! What is worse, the tone, the attitude and the shaming that goes along with this is so bad, that you know for real, it can only have a bad impact on the kids at the receiving end. There is no version of this where the children would come on top of this as good people. What is certain though is that, emotionally damaged people groom emotionally damaged children into another generation of emotionally damaged parents, and this vicious cycle continues! 

Any parent who doesn't do that, is by all means a parent who's doing the basics of parenting right! I am so proud of you for being different! I wish, your kind of parents were in majority! But unfortunately, it is not so! For those of you, who tend to do this, on behalf of your little ones, let me tell you, your children need you to listen to them with the intention of understanding and not disciplining! Just like when you see someone drowning, you save them from drowning, not teach them to swim! In that moment of complete meltdown, your children need you to share your calm with them and not reprimand them for having a meltdown. I promise you, they aren't doing anything on purpose. For all I know, the history behind their supposed bad behaviour will only break your heart. And if you do this because your parents did this to you, then my dear parent, it is high time you break this cycle, because clearly, its not working! The more you try to discipline your children to behave in this way, the more they misbehave, right? Right! (Sorry, but you know I am right!)

Children mirror what they see! So, when you find them being insufferable, they've seen someone closely (probably you) being insufferable! Very often you'll realise your complaints about your children are nothing but your behaviours that they are mirroring! It starts with you! You want meltdowns to disappear? Get a magic wand! Be realistic and deploy common sense! That's not happening, even you as adults have meltdowns. You want your children to regulate their meltdowns in better ways? Show them how it is done! Catch yourself when you have a meltdown and allow your kids to point out when you are having a meltdown. You'll be shocked how quickly your children will learn to regulate themselves and even you in constructive ways. Don't forget to thank your children later!