Monday, 30 November 2015

Interdependence is a Virtue!


I  have spent too much time distinguishing between independence and interdependence. Spent more time in confusing between the two and further more time on justifying how independence was the winner. But fighting against something so profound and true is a lost battle even before it begins.

Almost 10 years back, while doing an exercise with my mentor on "Personal Values", we had this discussion. I still remember every little detail of that conversation! He had asked me to write down what I stand for. "Independence" happened to be among the top 3 choices on my list. With a curious smile my mentor asked me "Why independence?" I had a long list of reasons why I chose independence - how I want to be on my own, not dependent on anyone for anything, have a solid career, and a lot more. He was still smiling (That smile, so curious and yet so assuring!) He asked me "Are you mixing up Self Sufficiency with Independence? Why are you not choosing Interdependence? It is a real virtue you know?" I certainly had a moment of rethinking my choice, but then, gave up as I was in the justification mode! I said interdependence calls for dependence and I don't want that. His smile transformed into a little laugh and he said "I get your perspective, but try to find why interdependence is a virtue and independence is not!"

Since this conversation, I have experienced every bit of it to be true! Why interdependence doesn't mean you depend on someone, as I thought it would be when I justified against it. The first requirement for interdependence is being able to fly solo! Interdependence cannot flourish in the absence of self sufficiency! You have to be self sufficient in order to benefit the true effects of interdependence. It is not complementing, it is co-creating. It emphasizes that 'we' is better than 'me'. Only when you are truly self sufficient, you understand the efforts of another self sufficient person and this type of team works wonders! On the other hand, independence has no scope for accommodating someone else. It is isolation and indifference to everything else but oneself. Sometimes I feel realization is that one thing which causes enlightenment and embarrassment at the same time!

Now I know why his smile was so curious, and what he meant! Independence comes from arrogance and Interdependence comes from modesty. Modesty that stems from contributing to a greater cause and respecting someone else's contribution to that cause! Someone rightly said, a true mentor shows you where to look, but never shows you what to see! It was for me to find out that you achieve nothing doing everything alone, it is the other way round, you cannot grow without people around you!

p.s: Sorry Sir, it took me so long to understand what was hidden in your curious smile! 

Thursday, 26 November 2015

Little joys of life!


Rush hours, back to back travels, year end pressures, ups and downs in performances, unexpected breakdowns, juggling family and work life, craving for that get away with your partner... Stop! I said to myself a few months back! This is always going to be like this and it is endless. More often than not, I do love it this way, that is the reason it has been working and fulfilling me for almost a decade now! But not accepting it is an overload sometimes, isn't going to stop it from being an overload sometimes! Since then I decided to stop finding time for a few things and just do them instead. Initially, I thought I was wasting time, but then, why kill yourself for a few moments spent randomly? Self criticism can sometimes hold you back a little too much! Honestly, doing these things have given me a great booster and raised my spirits instantly!
  • Having "Our" time - My Partner, Kid and I! (This is one of my favorites and we do it every weekend!)
  • Take a few photos or videos of my child and share it with his grand parents (I do it almost every week more because it makes the grand parents happy!)
  • Snuggling up with my partner (We get to do this only on the weekends and try not to miss it!)
  • Writing as a break between work (One of my frequent little joys!)
  • Sleeping a little more than other days
  • Pick up my child early from the day care and have"Our Time"
  • Having bed tea with my partner
  • Chatting with an old friend just out of the blue
  • Walk my dog and talk to him
  • Dress up for a party without the party
  • Make myself something sweet and have it sitting in my window box
  • Give away at least one item not in use from my home or wardrobe (I am a neat freak. Check my post on this over here!)
  • Browsing for the destination of our next vacation (We plan to travel 2-3 times a year)
  • Updating my list of "To buy" things from discounts (I buy only during discounts)
  • Update my gym music playlist
  • Download and sort the photos from phone and camera
  • Visit the rarely viewed folders on my computer, sort them, revive a few things
  • Read blogs or articles online
I do these things in no particular order and never more than one on the same day! In fact, the effects of doing one of these lasts for many days! What is more, they are not at all time consuming! Come to think of it, they are so little things but are incredibly joyful! No wonder you don't need money for little joys of life!

मेरे अपने

आज आसमान मुझे देख रहा है,  सितारें कुछ ज्यादा चमक रहे हैं,  मेरे अपने जो उनमें बसे  हैं! शायद वहां रहकर खुश है! पीछे रहना बड़...