Ever wondered why one feels inexplicably closer after patching up with an estranged person? May be because we realise the true value of that person when he was away, or feel the split was just not worth it, or even for that matter just accept that it was plain ego games. When we think about how successful relationships evolve, for some odd reason, judging criterion have quantified arguments, disagreements, compromises, so on and so forth for evaluation. It seems for a simple reason - less of clashes better the relationship and more the pleasant experiences you are heading towards the best state.
I feel these criterion are too superficial to be judging barometers for relationships. In fact I strongly believe that when there are 2 individuals in a relationship, clashes or unpleasant experiences are bound to happen! The true worth of a relationship is in the survival of the two people during crises. They say, if one sails through the storms successfully, he has definitely lived a better life than smooth sailing! It is a choice left to be made in the people to make the unpleasantness a tool to become closer. Because crises, pain, unpleasant experiences in life not only bring us closer to each other but also make us indispensable in a relationship. After all we is always stronger than me!!! :-)
I feel these criterion are too superficial to be judging barometers for relationships. In fact I strongly believe that when there are 2 individuals in a relationship, clashes or unpleasant experiences are bound to happen! The true worth of a relationship is in the survival of the two people during crises. They say, if one sails through the storms successfully, he has definitely lived a better life than smooth sailing! It is a choice left to be made in the people to make the unpleasantness a tool to become closer. Because crises, pain, unpleasant experiences in life not only bring us closer to each other but also make us indispensable in a relationship. After all we is always stronger than me!!! :-)
14 comments:
Amen.
The reasons are so many and no one can put them up in a list but it is true.
But that doesn't mean we should fight just because we become closer afterwards ;)
You have raised an interesting point here.
But that I hope, it does not mean people should over analyze things/actions/events/conversations and simply make life more complicated/convoluted and then try to sort them out. Its better to try and steer off the problems/misunderstandings/fights as far as possible but its admirable if people overcome them if they are faced with them in unavoidable circumstances.
wah wah .. all set to tie the knot !!
@ Akshay: Its not like 1+1=2!! Its the optimistic approach by choice to take the the arguments in the right spirit. As a matter of fact, its not a cake walk and hence only those who are able to do so experience the closeness I am talking about!! :-)
@ Dagny: You seem to have got me wrong dudette!!! :-O Here making unpleasentness a tool to become closer does not mean create complications. It rather means, there are other ways to tackle complexities than falling apart. And the best but most difficult way is this one where even problem is used as an opportunity to build a relationship!! :-)
As for your other statement, "... try to steer off the problems..." I hope it does not mean to keep mum or run away from that situation and let things pile up over the time!! And then reach a point of no return in a relationship!! :-O
@ Boob: Its got nothing to do with tying the knot dude!! This applies to all possible relationships!! :-P For once think of something else than pulling my legs!! :-P :-D
Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade.
Dear Anonymous,
Where did you interpret "smother eachother" in my post?? In fact,I always promote optimism.. Do you need further prof than making crises as a tool of growing in a relationship, in this post???
Awaiting your response... :-)
p.s: I would love to know you!! :-)
anonymous has a point here.
let things grow, they will grow beautifully.
there is this farmer guy i know...
he doesn' interfere in his farm. he just lets things grow. initially his plants din grow so well, but then, now it's one of the most wonderful farms i have ever come across.
true, humans are not plants. but a relationship might be one.
don't analyse, don't fret too much. and ul never regret it.
at least that's my hunch.
hey, sniggy im back!!!
Ouch!
You got me all wrong.
If you know me well enough you'd surely know that s not even the last resort for me. Sweeping off issues under the carpet and pretending they don't exist is something I am totally against. Its best to confront and deal with issues (no matter how small) as soon as you can instead of procrastinating.
@ Kinu: Well, I never meant over analyse and did I even remotely indicate to fretting over?? :-O If you interpreted it that way.. Its not that.. In fact its extremely similar to what you are saying!! Btw.. The plant allegory seems cute!! ;-)
Oh and yes!! Hieeeeeeeee!!! :-D You got a new cell for heaven's sake?? :-P
@ Daggny: Oh I really got you wrong then!! :-D Never mind that, we are thinking on the same lines it seems!! :-D
are we both discussing from the same point of view as usual? well. i truly believe relationships aren't too obvious to keep talkin abt like this.
anyway
no i haven got a new cell.
still old fashioned land line guy, i am!
@ Kinu: Yes indeed we are!!! And that too as usual!! Too predictable isn't it?? ;-) And please get out of your old fashioned shoes... Will you??? :-P
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