I love or don’t, is the question…

Adhering to the promise I made to Infinite (the one who commented on Sarabhai…) I am trying not to sound sarcastic or offensive. :-)
Following is an absolutely atypical and one of the most beautiful definitions of love I have come across. AK said this complicated thing (perhaps perceived!) in such a simple way that simply bowled out everyone present at our simple get together. It’s indeed true that, often-superlative things emerge from simplest sources or situations.

“Love isn’t a feeling, it’s a state of mind. And a trigger is required to transpire into that state. And that trigger is no more than grief. To put it in a cause-effect structure, if one feels sad because he cannot see someone in pain, then he is in love with that person. For e.g. if an infant’s death (grief) makes the parents sad because they cannot see the other in pain, they fall in love. Following this theory, the frequent question asked ‘do you love me?’ actually sounds irrelevant. It could better be, ‘do I love you?’ And instead of analyzing if someone loves us or not, isn’t it better to begin with self? To make it finer, every time a couple survives a grievance together, they fall in love with each other. Now, how long this state would last depends on how complementary they are to each other. Two parallel lines never meet; similarly, two identical people would have a hard time maintaining this state. But opposites attract, likewise, complementary people sustain that state longer because one lacks what the other has, fitting the jigsaw all the time. To conclude on this, love cannot happen when everything around is happy. For the only reason, who wouldn’t want to be with someone who has no worries? When someone wants to be with you even when you are in the worst of your phases, then it can be termed as love. If its love, it means to be together forever in the real sense of the term!”
- A.K.

I realized how this theory perfectly fit to all the real life successful relationships as well as the miserably failed ones. The relationships I look up to are of those who have survived several difficult times together. After all a person who has seen life for more than 65 years would state only time-tested things! :-)

The Mind of a Parent says “…

How I wish to hold your hand,
And take you out for a walk,
Play your favorite music band,
And have a long night’s talk.

How I wish to lull you to sleep,
To help you solve the math sums,
And plan my days and keep
For you, the next holiday that comes.

How I wish to see your face,
When you walk without fear,
And I am sure you’ll win the race,
To make me proud of you my dear.

How I wish to not accept this,
And never want to give it up.
But I have to face the truth that is,
My child is now a grown up!

Vipassana

Vipassana is a technique of introspection preserved by monks. This Indian origin type of meditation has been used and passed on for years together. Its detailed history is available on any search engine and if anyone wishes to take this course, you can log on their website http://www.dhamma.org/.

Its main branch (referred as “Pagoda of Dhammagiri”) is at Igatpuri: a small town between Mumbai and Nashik cities. This technique requires minimum of 10 days stay away from your routine life. Out of curiosity and honestly, to some extent because it was totally non-religious and non-traditional, I choose to take this course.

One has to resist all types of communications and keep mute during all these days. Those who know me are in for a shock! I did that!!! I didn’t utter a word, nor did I communicate through actions for all the 10 days. You start your day as early as 4.30 a.m. and have only one meal per day. It sounds difficult but when you have nothing to do, even this is at times more than required. In my opinion, no activities, no communication, 10-12 hours meditation per day leaves you with nothing but introspection.

They say vipassana is so powerful that when you get it right, your concentration doubles, your endurance for physical pain increases and your temper gets chilled. I would be lying if I refuse even one of these effects. And in case there has been a guilty past, or unfortunate tragedy, or a failed venture, one finds solutions because of thorough peace of mind.

I am too young to experience any of these possibilities. But now am not apprehensive about any if at all it happens. I could inculcate very positive changes in myself after this course. I would recommend everyone to experience the happiness you get when everything seems so clear and simple even if it isn’t! :-)

In Search of Innocence…

One of my interests lies in upbringing, be it in anything. I love to take care of pets, kids and to the extent of grand parents also… I think it’s more to do with compassion than patience. But yes I love to indulge myself with care taking during my leisure time. My experiences in the past few years actually got me frustrated with the new generation kids. Initially I thought it was due to an over dose of baby-sitting. But then realized that it was the kids not my lack of interest!!!

If the attributes to children, adolescents, teenagers, and later age groups get miss matched, its sinfully nauseating. A snobbish kid is as intimidating as a kiddish grown up. In case of an adult, you can at least hold him responsible. But in case of children, it’s only their parent’s failure. It is depressing how today’s upbringing systematically destroys the innocence. Given the justifications that come while explaining the nuisance created by their kids, I can only wish that that time could be used to impart a bit of discipline in them!!!

Love Story

On a morning in summer,

It smelt fresh hay.

The first meeting with her lover,

It did the same way.

Was it the golden light?

Or was it the glowing peeks?

That made the country sight,

Look like it speaks?

Sitting under the darkest shade

To hide from the rays,

“For this time, I shall trade

Even a fortune”, he says.

Thanks to the sheep

And thanks to the season,

That lets us keep

Meeting for a reason.

I wish to grow old

With you by my side,

Life will unfold,

And shall be our guide.

In search of joy

Together we’ll find a way,

And pass it to our boy,

On a joyful day.

So I say this to you my dear,

Loving is the only way

Success is always near,

Only a fraction away…

Happiness is not in the air,

It’s in the mind.

Feel it if you may dare,

And make it your find.

Make an effort together,

And pass your story on,

Coz nothing lasts forever,

But generations go on.

There should remain a trace

Of your existence,

Welcome your end with grace,

And let go without insistence.

During the last moments,

Don’t count your years.

Count all the moments

That made these years.

If the moments are more

You are always alive,

With the memories so pure

In the relations that survive.

Different Strokes!

All those who know me can vouch my weird connection with animals. I can communicate, understand and relate to them with an ability that can be considered above average amongst people who are animal friendly. This is one of my innate interests, so considering pets as family comes to me too naturally to term them a liability.

I never knew I could be taken as a master till my latest pet did. My limited time at home because of work got me involved more into his training. Perhaps, that’s the reason why he took me as a master. It was when he attacked my relative who was hitting me (In fun), that it was confirmed I was the master to him.

It just makes me feel special!!! :-)

A Visit to the Central Jail, Nashik

Part II: Sensation

Like mentioned at the beginning in part one, am juxtaposing the events and commotion it caused in my head at that time.

Meeting room: The emotion of interacting with your people at the mercy of others is something, we, who belong to the other side of the fence won’t be able to empathize at all. Confronting this lifestyle calls for a high level of acceptance and courage. But the one convicted goes through this for his proved crime. It’s a horrendous anguish for the one who comes to visit him. To not touch your loved one, to see him through blurred glass, to talk only for 20 minutes, to see his deterioration by every meeting, to encounter the humiliation for being associated with him are few of the obvious inevitable repercussions that innocent has to wrestle with all the time…

Work Stations: Prima facie, the use of man power instead of machines seems to be a very backward management approach, but after knowing their logic behind the same, makes it the best way. To keep the time and minds of 2500 prisoners occupied in it self is a crucial assignment. The implementation and effectiveness of this logic-based Strategy is impeccable. The production techniques go through research and development with an approach of utilising maximum man power and generating more demand for it. It is very impressive the way their training is conducted; top class house keeping is maintained; ‘store to ware-house’ circulation is established; inspection techniques for the quality assurance is determined and sales is generated for their payments. Rightfully it makes an impression of one observing a large scale industry. The most formidable aspect according to me is to set up a productive organisation with the people who are sentenced by the court as harmful to society!

The Food: The given quantity is sumptuous in all possible ways. But there is no say for the menu. They have to accept whatever is given. The coupons and the allowance limit highlighted very sad facts of today’s lifestyles. People have very bad food habits, they throw tantrums at the table, and they waste food. There is no limit to their expenses (applicable to the youngsters who spend at their parents cost.), 1500/- is spent at one entertainment centre! There is a certain amount of responsibility that goes when we have all these things, a sense of accountability when we have parents to support us, a limit to our behaviour and egos when we have all the freedom around. Sad but true, this is really missing in our society today.

The Show: The performance was a tight slap to all the supposed singers who have an air about themselves. In a hall with open windows for ventilation, a stage with an obsolete sound system, 3 musical instruments collected from discarded materials and singers condemned for life sentence created a magic that, an a/c studio designed with acoustics, installed with the most modern sound systems and all the possible musical instruments with the glamorous singers, can create once in a blue moon. I was stunned to see the prisoners’ drive to enhance themselves with these leisure activities while coping up with the depression of being cut-out from the outside world. It was then it struck me that the time most of us spend claiming to be busy could be utilised for self enhancement by indulging in our hobbies…

The life in cells: To live life at someone else’s will, is the worst form of demoralisation. The reason why lions of the outside world lead a life of a mouse can only be the helplessness that comes with the boundaries. We all are too fortunate to be on the other side of this world. It was after the visit that I realised the emergency to kill the sympathy seeking syndrome in our world. My mind was screaming out loud in response to some evident symptoms of sympathy seeking: “I never get what I want.”- Be happy about what you have, is not snatched from you; “The mistake I make and the sufferings I have to face are just not fair!”- Did you choose to make a mistake to demand for a choice for its repercussions? At least you don’t have to pay for what you never did; “Life has been cruel to me”- Not at all, you are one amongst the most fortunate to get what you have today; “I need a break from the turbulence in my life”- Don’t wear it on your sleeve. At least you have the option to take a break; “I am trapped in my own house”- Freedom is an understatement to what you have. You are rather surrounded by your loved ones. And the list can go on and on. I seriously fear Sympathy Seeking Syndrome reaching the list of fatal psychological disorders in the near future.

A visit that lasted for a few hours made me numb for a while, because even I was in that premises. We had guards around us everywhere we went. They had continuous attention and they never let us alone even once. It was obviously for security purpose but was enough for me to feel what it must be to live without privacy. My oh-so-claimed-strong-mind failed to stop it from affecting me, there must be something incomprehensible in the management system to make such circumstances successful!!!